7-ways-to-make-love-intentional-300x200We have previously discussed that every relationship hits a stage where you have to CHOOSE to love your partner. That the effortless “in love” feeling tends to dwindle away and that we are left with a choice—to love! or not to love. My hope is that you would see the value of putting forth effort to get the huge reward of an unconditionally loving relationship. Here are seven ways that you can choose to intentionally love your partner.

1. Be spontaneous
After being in a relationship for while you get into a routine and your interactions become predictable.  Try calling or sending a text message outside of your routine to tell your partner some of the things that you admire most about them.

2. Make quality time
It is so easy to get lost in the routine of life, especially if you have children. It is important to reserve at least one evening a week to keep the intimacy and fire going in the relationship.

3. Perform a random act of kindness
This may seem kind of cheesy but ask any woman who has to fix dinner every night how much they would appreciate their husband coming home early enough to prepare dinner. Doing something (even if you hate it) for the purpose of serving your partner will stir up love and appreciation.

4. The gift of giving
Most people enjoy receiving gifts and being surprised. Beyond receiving something, a gift really conveys to your partner that you have been thinking about him or her. Showing up with items such as flowers, snacks, a card, beer, wine, Starbucks, Tim Horton’s, etc. (to each his own) conveys to the person that they have been on your mind and that you cared enough to bring them a treat.

5. Attend a day that your partner has planned
Although you get along with your partner you may not share all of the same interests. Allow your partner to plan a day of events that they enjoy and that you take part in without complaint. Your participation will mean a lot to them and then next time you can plan a day you would like them to attend.

6. Make an effort to have real conversation every day
There are several levels to conversation; the first is just the exchange of information.  Talking about the facts of the day or discussing what time you will be home from work falls under this first level. Unfortunately, couples don’t go deep into intimacy building conversation on a regular basis. Taking even just 15-20 minutes of your day to really connect with your partner and find out how they are doing will mean a lot and will stir up more intimacy in your relationship.

7. Spice it up
That’s right I said it! If you have been married for a while and have gotten into a routine of scheduling in your intimate time with your partner, do something to spice up your life. Take a weekend and get away. Men – buy your wife some sexy lingerie or give her a gift card to go and select her own. Either way, make a conscious effort to interrupt and spice up your routine.

I hope that you find these recommendations helpful. Please share your comments and suggestions about how you demonstrate love to your partner.

This article was originally written for and posted on Liveabundantly.ca