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The health of our relationships is a lot like our physical health. We need to take steps to stay healthy, including regular check-ups. Take a moment to answer the questions below for a quick Relationship Check-up:

EMOTIONAL CONNECTION

I feel like my partner truly knows me…TRUE / FALSE

I feel like I truly know my partner…TRUE / FALSE

My partner knows about and supports my dreams in life…TRUE / FALSE

My partner knows just what to do or say to make me feel loved and appreciate…TRUE / FALSE

My partner and I enjoy doing the same things and have fun together…TRUE / FALSE

FINANCES

My partner and I approach money in the same way (e.g. save it/spend it)…TRUE / FALSE

I do not have any concerns about my partner’s debts…TRUE / FALSE

My partner and I talk openly about money… TRUE / FALSE

While we don’t always agree, we can talk about money without fighting… TRUE / FALSE

My partner and I are in agreement about having a budget… TRUE / FALSE

CONFLICT

When we have to talk about a difficult topic we stay calm and avoid name calling…TRUE / FALSE

When I have something difficult to discuss I have no problem bringing it up …TRUE / FALSE

When we argue we are able to resolve things the majority of the time… TRUE / FALSE

When we argue we stay connected; neither of us shuts down emotionally… TRUE / FALSE

When we argue there is no blaming, we give each other the benefit of the doubt… TRUE / FALSE

COMMUNICATION

We always have difficult conversations in person, we don’t use text or email for this… TRUE / FALSE

I am able to talk to my partner about anything… TRUE / FALSE

My partner is a great listener… TRUE / FALSE

When we talk, I feel as though my partner really gets me and what I am trying to say… TRUE / FALSE

I am satisfied with how often my partner and I talk and connect… TRUE / FALSE

SEX & AFFECTION

I am satisfied with the amount of affection in our relationship (hugging, kissing, etc.)… TRUE / FALSE

I am satisfied with how often my partner and I have sex… TRUE / FALSE

I truly enjoy our physical intimacy…TRUE / FALSE

It is easy for me to tell my partner what I like/don’t like sexually… TRUE / FALSE

My partner and I are on the same page with topics like pornography and sex toys… TRUE / FALSE

PERSONALITY

My partner brings out the best in me… TRUE / FALSE

It is very rare that I worry about how quiet or withdrawn my partner is… TRUE / FALSE

We are almost always on the same page about what we like to do for fun… TRUE / FALSE

My partner’s mood swings DO NOT concern me… TRUE / FALSE

We work well together making decisions and approach decisions similarly… TRUE / FALSE

Scoring Your Answers

Each True Response Add 1 point, Each False Response Subtract 1 point

Tally Your Responses Below

Emotional Connection: _________________________

Finances: ___________________________________

Conflict: _____________________________________

Communication: ______________________________

Sex & Affection: _______________________________

Personality: __________________________________

A score of 4-5 in any category indicates you are doing well in that aspect of your relationship. A score of 3 indicates you could improve your relationship satisfaction by learning more about this topic. A score of 1-2 may indicate some concerns – this doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, it just may be time to discuss these concerns and utilize resources.

We invite you to check out We Want More’s resources such as our Helpful Articles and Ask the Experts section. Should you decide you’d like to work with a couple’s therapist to improve your relationship you can use our Find a Therapist tool to find a qualified professional in your area.

We hope that however you answered the questions above, you and your partner are talking openly on a regular basis. Sit down and discuss your results together. If it feels difficult to have that conversation, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified professional for help.

By Hilary Phillips, MS, LPC 
Connections Counseling & Development Center – Atlanta, GA

Originally written for and featured on We Want More. The author named has provided permission to print this article to The Love Compass. Questions or concerns about this article can be directed to the author.