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Have you experienced a recent breakup, been single for quite some time, or just have had bad luck in love? Well, good news there is a joy in being single. Despite popular belief being single is not the modern day leprosy where you are outcast from the city limits, and being single most definitely does not put a scarlet “S” on your chest. While you are single, it should be a time of wonder and self-discovery, not the end of your social life. So then, when you do have a break up or just stuck in a rut of loneliness, here is a list of five ways that you can become that happy single, until you find that special someone ‘til death do you part’.

1. Create A Personal Mission/Vision Statement

Every successful company or person that you know is driven by a mission or a vision for themselves; these two statements sum up the goals that are before you.  It is like the old phrase “keep your eye on the prize” well how do you get to the prize if you do not know what the prize is. While you are single figure out what drives you; what is your personal mission in your life, can this be achieved with or without a mate? A personal mission/vision statement can be as detailed as you would like. Remember the mission is the thing that states why you exist (this may take some soul searching)  and the vision is the ultimate end goal; what you want your life to look like at the end of it all. An example of a personal mission/vision statement would resemble something like this:

“I will spread love to others by performing small acts of kindness. In order to get love you have to give it; which will make me successful in all ways”

The mission here is love (the thing that drives you), and the vision (the end goal) is to have overall success in love and life.

2. Put Aces in Their Places!

When you are single there is no better time than the present to surround yourself with the best possible team; a team that will help get you back to a place of self-worth and not self-pity. The thing about building about a great team is that they are all after one goal; to win. Make sure that all your team members have the same goal in mind; all like-minded. Remember ‘misery loves company’ therefore that friend that is always complaining about her boyfriend or bashing every man that comes her way, would NOT make a good team member. Having the best support system while you are single will engage you in the things in life that you enjoy, and ultimately distract you from the loneliness.

3. Do Some Research

This part is easy and fun. How will you communicate what you like, want, or need in a relationship if you don’t know. While your are single, take some time to self-reflect, even account for those instances where sometimes it was our fault.  Let’s admit, the 17 phone calls, and social media check-ups were a little excessive. This is also a time of self-discovery, do an activity that you have always wanted to do, but maybe haven’t had the time, enjoy friends; find your spiritual self, etc. Another great way to research is to learn your love language. Learning your love language will help you determine how you love others and also how you receive love from others.

4. Strengthen Your Heart

This step goes hand in hand with doing research. You can strengthen your heart by doing various activities; like listening to only those things that emit the goal of having and maintaining love in your life. For example, I would not recommend listening to those “woe is me”, man-bashing, “emotional rollercoaster” songs; instead create a playlists with upbeat; “I am every woman” kind of tunes. Also, reciting positive affirmations to yourself or sticking reminder notes on your mirror helps.  A positive affirmation could be as simple as “give love to get love”

5. Love Thy Self!

If there were 11 commandments “Love Thy Self” would be the 11th one; none of the tactics that you learn and practice in love will not amount to anything if you do not learn to love yourself first. It is like if you were to plan a 7 course meal for a dinner party and didn’t make a grocery list. At the end of it all, no one else can love you unless you love yourself first.

So, all in all, the challenge here is to be content with yourself before you can become content with another. If things ultimately do not work out between you and the next person that you meet, you will still be in love with the best and most awesome person that you will ever meet; YOURSELF.