We all have a story of heartbreak in our lives. We can remember the first time we fell in love, too hard too soon, and inevitably got our heart broken. For some, this led to hardening our hearts and swearing to never give anyone that much power over it/us again. Others may have taken this…
Tag: Fearful Avoidant Attachment
Getting Off the Roller-Coaster: Breaking Out of the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle
Last week we covered the dynamics of the roller-coaster relationship and why it can be so addictive. Attachment research suggests that if we are paired with a secure partner we are less likely to experience this roller-coaster dynamic. But what happens if we are not paired with a secure partner? If we have invested in…
Are You Addicted to the Roller-Coaster Relationship?
Ah, the roller-coaster relationship. You know exactly what I am talking about. You have either seen one or have experienced it first hand. They are over the top relationships that are in blissful ecstasy one moment, and plummeting to the depths of dysfunction the next. They are characterized by a pattern of extremes, either high…
Attachment Pairings: Finding the Best Fit
I have been asked on several occasions, which attachment styles pair best. Well, here is the moment you have all been waiting for! We have laid the foundation of the various attachment styles and their differing needs in relationships. Going through and understanding the varied needs is helpful and gives us great insight into why…
The Secure Attachment Style: What We Can Learn From The Super-Mates of Relationships
When reading about securely attached individuals, do any of you scratch your head and wonder how these anomalies exist in the world? Okay, maybe it’s just me. But these individuals have been coined the super humans of evolution and make up roughly 50% of the population. When first starting out on my journey, I had…
Understanding the Needs of the Avoidant/Dismissive Attachment Style
Do you ever wonder how you can go from a completely sane and confident person, to a clinging or withdrawing relationshipzilla in about 60 seconds flat? Welcome to the world of attachment systems and romantic attachment styles. We all possess an attachment system. It is a mechanism in our brain that is responsible for monitoring…
Understanding the Needs of the Anxious/Preoccupied Attachment Style
I recently read Attached by Amir Levine and it has really opened my eyes to the importance of understanding attachment dynamics in our relationships. This article is based on content from the book and I highly recommend you read it if these attachment style articles resonate with you. Last week we covered how to decode…
Decoding Your Partner’s Attachment Style
Happy Valentines Day Everyone! If any of you know me at all yet, you would know that I can’t write about superficial ways to make your valentines day the most amazing day of your life. It should be an awesome day in a string of other awesome days in your relationship. So if you are…
The Dismissive/Avoidant Attachment Style
So far in this series of articles we have covered an Introduction to Attachment Styles and the Preoccupied Attachment Style. Taking the time to read these articles before continuing into the current topic may be helpful as they help to lay a foundation of attachment styles and how they play a role in romantic relationships. Just to briefly…
The Preoccupied/Anxious Attachment Style
The first article in this series was the Introduction to Attachment Styles. It provides a brief overview of attachment theory and may be helpful for you to read before getting into this week’s article on preoccupied attachment. Preoccupied attachment style is characterized by a person who has a negative view of themselves and a positive view of…