Preoccupied

the love compass

The Interdependent Relationship: Letting go of Codependence and Extreme Independence

Our culture praises independence. We are taught to be strong, never reveal weakness, and above all never rely on others. In theory this approach works great. Never open up to anyone, never rely on anyone, and never get hurt. But this belief has led to one of the most isolated and disconnected cultures to ever […] Read more…

fearful avoidant attachment style

The Difference Between Having a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style and Being Fearful of Relationships

We all have a story of heartbreak in our lives. We can remember the first time we fell in love, too hard too soon, and inevitably got our heart broken. For some, this led to hardening our hearts and swearing to never give anyone that much power over it/us again. Others may have taken this […] Read more…

rollercoaster relationship

Getting Off the Roller-Coaster: Breaking Out of the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle

Last week we covered the dynamics of the roller-coaster relationship and why it can be so addictive. Attachment research suggests that if we are paired with a secure partner we are less likely to experience this roller-coaster dynamic. But what happens if we are not paired with a secure partner? If we have invested in […] Read more…

best attachment pairings

Attachment Pairings: Finding the Best Fit

I have been asked on several occasions, which attachment styles pair best. Well, here is the moment you have all been waiting for! We have laid the foundation of the various attachment styles and their differing needs in relationships. Going through and understanding the varied needs is helpful and gives us great insight into why […] Read more…

The Secure Attachment Style: What We Can Learn From The Super-Mates of Relationships

The Secure Attachment Style: What We Can Learn From The Super-Mates of Relationships

When reading about securely attached individuals, do any of you scratch your head and wonder how these anomalies exist in the world?  Okay, maybe it’s just me. But these individuals have been coined the super humans of evolution and make up roughly 50% of the population. When first starting out on my journey, I had […] Read more…

the anxious preoccupied attachment style

The Preoccupied/Anxious Attachment Style

The first article in this series was the Introduction to Attachment Styles. It provides a brief overview of attachment theory and may be helpful for you to read before getting into this week’s article on preoccupied attachment. Preoccupied attachment style is characterized by a person who has a negative view of themselves and a positive view of […] Read more…

introduction to attachment styles

Introduction to Attachment Styles

The concept of attachment has become increasingly prevalent in psychology and other interdisciplinary fields. The basic assumption is that infants and children form a unique bond with their primary caregiver that effects how they will interact with the world. When infants form an attachment with a caregiver that is warm, consistent and responsive, their attachment […] Read more…