Often times we confuse what we require and what we desire in relationships. We make a list of all the important traits we want in a partner, with very little concept of what we really need in our relationships. Our lists often include items about physical appearance, the level of income or career, and may…
Category: Relationships
Getting Off the Roller-Coaster: Breaking Out of the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle
Last week we covered the dynamics of the roller-coaster relationship and why it can be so addictive. Attachment research suggests that if we are paired with a secure partner we are less likely to experience this roller-coaster dynamic. But what happens if we are not paired with a secure partner? If we have invested in…
Are You Addicted to the Roller-Coaster Relationship?
Ah, the roller-coaster relationship. You know exactly what I am talking about. You have either seen one or have experienced it first hand. They are over the top relationships that are in blissful ecstasy one moment, and plummeting to the depths of dysfunction the next. They are characterized by a pattern of extremes, either high…
Attachment Pairings: Finding the Best Fit
I have been asked on several occasions, which attachment styles pair best. Well, here is the moment you have all been waiting for! We have laid the foundation of the various attachment styles and their differing needs in relationships. Going through and understanding the varied needs is helpful and gives us great insight into why…
Understanding the Needs of the Avoidant/Dismissive Attachment Style
Do you ever wonder how you can go from a completely sane and confident person, to a clinging or withdrawing relationshipzilla in about 60 seconds flat? Welcome to the world of attachment systems and romantic attachment styles. We all possess an attachment system. It is a mechanism in our brain that is responsible for monitoring…
Understanding the Needs of the Anxious/Preoccupied Attachment Style
I recently read Attached by Amir Levine and it has really opened my eyes to the importance of understanding attachment dynamics in our relationships. This article is based on content from the book and I highly recommend you read it if these attachment style articles resonate with you. Last week we covered how to decode…
Decoding Your Partner’s Attachment Style
Happy Valentines Day Everyone! If any of you know me at all yet, you would know that I can’t write about superficial ways to make your valentines day the most amazing day of your life. It should be an awesome day in a string of other awesome days in your relationship. So if you are…
Wholehearted Living Guidepost 10: Cultivating Laugher, Song, and Dance
It’s hard to believe that this is the last post of our wholehearted series. For those of you who are just tuning in, we have been covering Brene Brown’s 10 guideposts for wholehearted living. In setting the premise for this series, we had discussed the development of secure attachments in our relationships, and how learning to live a wholehearted life can…
Why Your Relationship Resolutions Fail: Tips to Setting Achievable Goals in Your Relationship
How are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? January is said to be the most depressing month of the year. There is even a day called blue Monday, which has been pegged as the most depressing day of the year. This year, blue Monday fell on January 20th but the winter blues seem to…
Wholehearted Living Guidepost 8: Cultivating Calm and stillness
Happy Saturday everyone! We are nearing the end of our wholehearted living series with only two more guideposts to discuss after this week. Incase you are just tuning in; we have been covering Brene Brown’s 10 guideposts for wholehearted living. In setting the premise for this series, we had discussed the development of secure attachments in our…